horngry.
gosh thor followed me into the bathroom
and the whole time i was trying to concentrate, he just sat there in the bathtub, very loudly licking his butt.
oh my god I forgot that your cat is named thor so I actually thought you meant like god of thunder thor and holy shit the mental images
(via molassesfeet)
(via squalidhorse)
5 Seconds of Every #1 Billboard Hot 100 Hit From 1993-2011
this made me feel so nostalgic, but then sad when i realized that music is shit now.
(via teacup-troubadour)
(Source: devoureth, via toocooltobehipster)
If when straight people got married we kept saying “straight marriage” instead of just “marriage” they’d probably get pissed off
- Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
- Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
- Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
- Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
- Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
- Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
- Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
- Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
- Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
- Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
- Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
- Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
- Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
- Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
- Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
- Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
i hate moods when i can’t tell if i want to be alone or if i want to be with other people.
what am i doing?
i have a paper due tomorrow morning and i’m sitting in bed playing tetris on my computer. which is weird, because last time i checked, i don’t remember it being 1987.
I hate the word homophobia.
It is not a phobia.
You are not scared.
You are just an asshole.
^ this.
(via molassesfeet)
(Source: mean-avengers, via hholdinggouttforaheerroo)
(Source: fuckyeahdolan, via acciomarijuana)
